I made this to keep a record of my thoughts. Previously I used to write as fcuk_j00 at xanga…. but alas, I seem to have forgotten the password to that journal. I guess in a way this isn’t such a bad thing this would be a new beginning for me. fcuk_j00 contained a lot of my history, a time and place where high school was everything. A lot has changed since then. Even though it’s a shame I won’t be able to continue with fcuk_j00 this is just another chapter in my life. How does one stop reading in between the lines?
I came here today because I was feeling a little disgruntled about my life currently. I always have to find something to complain about. Is this a bad thing? I mean it’ll only improve my life right? That’s why people complain to improve their lives? Anyway. The lack of doing anything is really starting to bother me and it’s nobody’s fault but mine. I just can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything. All I want to do is sleep. I’m tired. Always tired. Whenever I’m not inspired I feel tired, and it’s not just a “whoo, I’m exhausted” kind of tired like I’ve just finished doing a lot of work, not like the burn you feel after a long run but an exhaustion like it continues from where I last stopped being tired and I’ve been running for a very very very long time. Where do you find nourishment for the soul? How do you find peace?
Maybe I should try meditation? Daily meditation? Where do I even begin?